You Go, Girl!!!

My thanks to Bill St. Clair for the link...

-Ioseph of Locksley
(c) copyright 1993 W.J. Bethancourt III
(Tune: "The Sleeping Scotsman")

A lovely lady went one night to a revel in the East
With dancing and with singing, with wine and Roasted Beast
When the revel came unto an end, she started out for home
Wrapped well in her woolen cloak, and walking all alone.

CHORUS: The things you will run into, the people that you meet
Walking all alone upon a New York City street!

Now, New York City's not a place for walking in the dark
Not in the streets and alleys and especially not the Park
But off she went most happily, without a single care
Wrapped up in her woolen cloak, all in the midnight air.

A street-tough jumped in front of her, with three friends in the night
And pulled a six-inch switchblade, that glittered in the light
He waved it underneath her nose, and said with fiendish glee:
"Give me all your money, girl, this is a robbery!"

She gazed upon the switchblade, and smiled a happy smile
Said "Boy, you ain't got any brains, and lack a sense of style!
You're standing where I want to walk, please move out of my way!"
The tough said "Girl, I'll cut you, and rob you anyway!"

All wrapped up in her woolen cloak, her garb was quite unseen
Her hands were hidden out of sight, and so was chain-mail's gleam...
She said "Now, go rob someone else, my money stays with me!"
He said, "I'll take your money with my six-inch snickersnee!"

The lady's smile got bigger, the robber took a swing
The chain-mail took the blow; the lady didn't feel a thing!
She pulled a Kirby broadsword, the robber's soul to shrive,
And grinned and said, "I'll see your six, and raise you thirty-five!"

The bandit gazed upon the sword, and then upon his knife
He turned and ran, with his three friends, a-running for his life!
Don't think a lady's easy, don't think she's helpless prey,
Especially if she is a fighter in the SCA!

Now if you don't believe my song, then ask the lady fair
With Cheshire Cat upon her shield, a blazon very rare:
Sir Trude is her name, me lads, if she should pass your way;
The very first of the Lady Knights within the SCA!

*
-Ioseph of Locksley
grumpy baron